Court Day Friday

We leave the guesthouse early in the morning to go meet with the MOWA to figure out what is wrong with our dossier. We meet with the gentleman that is working on our file and sure enough there is white out on my police clearance letter. The lady at the desk accidentally checked the wrong box so she whited it out and initialled it. I just sit there and begin to ball my eyes. I am so sad that we are not going to pass court today. The gentleman reassures us that we just need to redo this paper and we will be fine. I absolutely love their culture in the sense that they view everything as a minor problem. I really wish that I had more of that instead of everything being so major. so we will redo the form and get it sent back as soon as possible. so we leave and head to the courthouse. We walk up the stairs and are led into a room full of people waiting to go before the judge. There are birth families, adopted families all sitting together. Racing through my heart is I wonder which one is my sons birth family. The feelings in my heart are so mixed. I am so happy that we are near the end of the process to bring our little boy home but I am so sad that his mother has to give him up. We are the only ones at court today from our agency so the next moment they call her name to come before the judge. I know who she is. My heart begins to fill with pain. I watch her walk into the room to speak before the judge. Moments later the door opens and they call our names to come in. We pass her in the doorway. She now knows who we are. We are in the room before the judge. My heart is torn in all these different directions. We are done with the judge and we walk out of the door into the waiting room and we are standing in the middle of the room I look at up and in the hallway I lock eyes with his mother. Our eyes are both filled with tears. I can't imagine what she is going through. I wonder if she thinks that I am good enough. I can't look anymore, it is too painful so I turn away. when I look back she is gone. I am so overcome with emotions at this point that I run into the hall with Abel and began to just cry. All of my emotions just come out in this hallway with people standing everywhere.